It's normal for kids to have a Mom or Dad preference but I think that you should be able to alternate bedtime responsibility if you want to.

So, as you start the new sleep plan, consider which parent will implement the plan best and be most consistent. Also consider who your child will respond best to. That is the parent who should start off handling the new sleep plan and get the child used to it.

Once your child is more used to the routine, give the other parent a shot. Just make sure the other parent does bedtime the same way.

This is a very common concern and it's an excuse lots of parents use not to get started. But you shouldn't let this stop you from improving sleep.

Lots of times, parents are surprised to find that siblings aren't disturbed at all when one child is crying - even if they share a wall. Once kids sleep, they typically sleep pretty hard.

But, if you're concerned, you have options:

- Build a "sound bubble." Make sure each child has a white noise machine and turn up the volume. You can even add another white noise machine or even a fan in the hallway or adjoining bathroom to help insulate any noise.

- Move a child temporarily. Feel free to move a sibling for the first couple days of the process. Have them sleep in a guest room, spare sofa or even have a "camp out" on the floor in your room. They won't be there forever and you can reward them for helping support their sibling through the sleep process.

The first few days of the new sleep plan can be the most difficult so consider that when choosing a day to start. Lots of people like to start on a Friday if they have a few days off of work.

Also, look ahead on the calendar. It's best to start when you have 3 weeks to be really consistent with the new sleep plan.

Well, we can't force your child to sleep later. Using the tools from this course you should have your child naturally sleeping until at least 6am.

I am a firm believer that parents should determine what time the day starts. So, what we can do is use a color-changing toddler clock to help your child stay in their room longer.

Decide a time that you want your child to start their day. Let's use 6:45 as an example.

#1 rule is that if they come out of their room earlier than 6:45, it can't be "rewarded" with co-sleeping, screen time, etc. If it is, they will most likely continue getting up early and ignoring their clock.

To use the toddler clock, set the clock to change color (turn green) BEFORE you think she will naturally wake up. To start, we want her to have the experience of waking up and seeing that it’s okay to get up. We want her to feel successful. We don’t want her to wake up and have to wait for 15 minutes, because on Morning #1 she's not likely to wait that long. We want her to build trust and confidence that she can make you proud by waiting until the light turns green. So, we have to make it easy on her to start. So, if she naturally wakes around 6:15, set the clock to change to green at 6:10 which would then temporarily become the time to start her day.

Once she "listens" to the clock - meaning, getting up when it's green, she earns a small reward (donut hole, sticker, Hershey kiss, etc.) After 2 days of listening to the clock set at 6:10, you move the time later by 10 minutes. You slowly inch your way up to 6:45 using the positive reward system. You make it very easy, almost inevitable that she will succeed to start, and then ask her to be a little more patient as the days go on. Remember to be over-the-top proud of her each morning.

A couple things to point out:

- make sure the clock passively changes colors and doesn't make a noise or turn off white noise

- some clocks have a setting where there is a color change, like yellow, BEFORE it turns green. This is meant to signal to the child that it's almost time to get up. I find this to be too confusing for kids under 4 or 5 years old. So, either turn that setting off and have it go straight to green. Or just use yellow and they ok time to get up.

- it's fine to have some books or quiet things for your child to do if they wake up in the morning. Put these on their bedside table so they can reach them easily.

There are many clocks to choose from and as long as you can set the time that they change colors, that's the most important part. Here are some good options....

1. Hatch Baby runs about $60 and includes white noise + color change and it's nice bc you can control it from your phone. That can be nice if ....you really want your kid to wake up at 6:40 but they wake up at 6:20 and you see them start to get fussy, you may want to switch it really quick to turn it green a little early.... or once they're really good at using it, and it's the weekend and you want to change it to 7:15 instead of your weekday 6:30 wake up. Link to Hatch: https://amzn.to/3uGoGjI

2. Little Hippo Mella is about $50 and is similar to Hatch but you can't control it on your phone - you have to make changes on the physical clock. Downfall is some kids mess with the controls. This one also makes "faces" which is kind of nice bc it gives kids another visual besides just the color.
https://amzn.to/3myKZ8m

3. Ok to Wake $33. Similar to the Hippo but this has the controls hidden behind a panel - maybe harder for little hands to get to.
https://amzn.to/2PRat4R

As mentioned in the course, securing the door in the moment when the sleep rule is broken is the most effective natural negative consequence. It is immediate and it has the effect of removing all attention from the situation.

If you prefer to try a different consequence, think of what might be a natural consequence of you and your child not getting enough rest the next day. Maybe a planned trip to the park or a play date would need to be cancelled because everyone is too tired and grouchy.

Or, especially for older kids, you can consider using what I call their "currency" for a negative consequence. What do they value most? One of my kid's currency is TV, the other is her scooter. So, I might prohibit use of one of those things the next day.

It can be a challenge to get kids down earlier in the evening if you're not used to it. But, you will see the massive improvement an early bedtime makes to your child's overall sleep and, therefore, the overall sleep of everyone in your family. So, it's worth planning ahead and making some sacrifices to make it work.

Instead of cooking dinner for everyone, you can serve your toddler leftovers and sit with them but avoid the hassle of having to prepare a meal earlier.

You can limit bath time to 10 minutes or switch it to every other night.

Limit the bedtime routine to only 10-15 minutes.

Use timers to help you get through evening events that tend to drag on.

If you have a spouse that might miss seeing your child in the evening, have the spouse take morning duty and spend some quality time in the morning.

Remember, they won't go to bed this early forever! But for now, it's what they need.

It is definitely possible to improve sleep when two kids are sharing a room -- although it may take 2 parents if you have to divide and conquer.

If only 1 child is having trouble sleeping, I recommend moving the good sleeper out of the room temporarily. Move them to a guest room or even to "camp out" on the floor in another room. Reward them for supporting their sibling :)

If both kids are struggling with sleep and you want to work with them at the same time, pick a strategy that you think would be the most effective. Typically the Camping In method works best in a situation like this.

Depending on their reaction and if they feed off of each other, staggering bedtimes can also be a good option.

Threatening separation can be effective depending on the situation.

And you may have to end up separating them temporarily and getting them used to falling asleep solo before returning them back to the same room.

Doing this coupled with negative consequences when necessary and positive rewards or praise whenever possible even for small wins, you will be able to improve sleep for room sharing kids.

It's great that your child is staying in his room but you still want him falling asleep in less than 20 minutes from you leaving the room.

If you notice that it's taking him much longer than this, move bedtime :15 minutes earlier. You are probably getting him down a little too late and he's already gotten a second wind which is keeping him awake.

This is very common. There is typically a trigger that starts an anti-bedtime meltdown. You probably know exactly what I'm talking about. Is it you saying "bath time" or "time to put on your PJs" or "brush your teeth"?

If you can figure out the trigger, just try rearranging the evening. If it's putting on PJs that's the problem, do that much earlier in the evening. Have your child eat dinner in their PJs! Move the trigger and you can start bedtime on the right foot.

The milk-sleep connection is very strong - it goes back to infancy. Once your child is a toddler, it's best to have a dividing line between eating and sleeping.

Eating is for nourishment and it's done during the day while you're awake. You don't want to blur the line and have milk as part of the bedtime routine. Or else it will become something your child needs throughout the night. They should be able to fall asleep without milk.

Make sure they are well fed before bedtime. You can give milk in a well-lit room before you start the bedtime routine if you'd like. But, once you're in their room, there should be no milk.

You can have them tell the milk and the kitchen goodnight to make a clear dividing line.

If your child struggles to stay in their room for nap time, I recommend getting their night sleep in order first using one of the strategies you learned in this course. Once they are sleeping better at night, naps come easier.

If you are still struggling, consider all the principles you learned here - they apply to daytime sleep, too. Giving too much attention, discussion, reminding, reprimanding can all cause kids to keep coming out of their room.

I like re-branding nap time around the age of 3 and calling it "Quiet Time". This way, when kids stop sleeping, they are used to spending and hour or two in their room quietly during the day.

Camping In typically doesn't work very well for naps because if your child sees you sitting in the room during the day - they're likely to think it's playtime.

So, it's best to use Silent Return with Limits to improve napping. Another option is using a timer and setting it for a short amount of time - like 15 minutes - and reward them for staying in the room. Then you can slowly increase the amount of time they stay in there.

I want to scream it from the rooftops! "Timers are your best friends!"

You know why? You get to make the timer the bad guy and not YOU!

My favorite kind is the Time Timer because it's just a straight up timer - no need to tell time at all.

Or just grab your phone or smartwatch.

Kids this age respond really well to timers especially if you let THEM set it.

If you struggle with a portion of bedtime - or any time of day - use a timer to make it seem more like a game.

Can you beat the timer?

How fast can mom do it?

How fast can you do it?

Some examples of how to use a timer... you could give them 1 minute to pick out their bedtime books. Or 3 minutes to put on PJs.  If you want to give them some control, you can even give them choice of the time. Do you want 2 or 3 minutes to go potty? 10 or 15 minutes to take a bath?

Let them turn the knob or touch the button on your phone to set it.

When the timer goes off...

"Oh look, the timer you set went off! Time to get out of the bath!"

Lots of times parents don't mind if kids sleep with them sometimes - just not every night! Or they think it's okay if it's after 4 or 5 am.

But here's the problem with allowing co-sleeping sometimes... kids don't know the difference! Your child doesn't understand that it's okay to crawl in your bed at 5am and not 2am. They don't have that sense of time. Your child doesn't realize that you're letting him sleep with you because it's Friday and you don't have to work tomorrow but on Sunday you don't allow it.

With most kids, once you let them know that sleeping in your bed is an option, they are going to keep coming back.

So, if you are trying to get out of a co-sleeping situation and putting in all this hard work, I recommend you make your bed off limits for a few months.

And then after that, once sleep is awesome and constant co-sleeping is a thing of the past, if you want to start Saturday morning snuggles once in a while, that's fine.

But the rule is - if you don't want kids in your bed, don't them in!

And this course gives you two detailed strategies for how to do just that.

This can be a tough process. No one understand that more than me! Changing habits, especially long-standing habits, can be difficult. So when I said in the intro that you should be proud of yourself, I was 100% serious. Committing to make changes is a brave thing.

So, just like you do with your kids, I love the idea of building in rewards for yourself! Oh yeah! After each week of being consistent with your new sleep plan, treat yourself to something - a pedicure, girls night out, buy a nice bottle of wine...

Or even just delay gratification for something that you're planning to do anyway. If you've been eyeing a new pair of earrings, use that as a reward once you're through the sleep improvement process.

Who said rewards are just for kids?

Sometimes kids fall asleep on the floor during this process. This typically only happens during the first night or so.

After they are asleep, if you'd like to move them to their bed without waking them up, go ahead and do it. Or you can let them stay asleep on the floor - they may wake up and move to their bed by themselves.

If, after 3 nights, you have been moving your child back to their bed and they are still falling asleep on the floor, I recommend you leave them on the floor for a night.

Kids will learn to make the right choice for themselves - stay in bed or sleep on the floor. If they continue to do it and you continue to help them, it may be becoming a game to them. In that case, the best thing to do is let them make their own choice of where to sleep.

Be okay with them choosing the floor for a night or two knowing that this won't last forever and they will eventually choose to stay in their bed.

One of the most distracting things to falling asleep is having the lights on. If you anticipate that your child might turn the lights or a lamp on, it's best to not get into the back-and-forth game of turning them off again only to have your child turn them back on.

If you see this happen or anticipate that it will happen, remove this distraction by preventing the light being turned on in the first place.

Cover the light switch, remove the light bulbs or turn the dimmer very low.

If you need to bring in a flashlight for reading books during the bedtime routine that can be fun!

If you anticipate that your child will spend some time alone in their room and they may get into things, it's best to remove or secure what you can.

Take out distracting toys or noisy things. If you have things in a closet, get a child-proof mechanism to keep the door closed. Same with drawers. If you think your child will get into drawers, get child-proofing solutions for the drawers. Remember, this won't last forever. 

As mentioned in the course, it's important that the room is totally safe with nothing breakable and have all furniture, especially tall bookshelves or heavy objects affixed to the wall.

Some families like to use a video monitor to keep an eye on their child while they're in the room alone.

It's up to you whether you'd like to have the door opened or closed. From a fire safety standpoint, having the door closed is recommended. Also, consider the layout of your house. If your child will be able to see or hear people moving around the house, having it open may be too distracting.

But, if your child is adamant and you're okay with it, you can use keeping the door cracked as an incentive for once sleep improves. If they can show you that they can stay in bed without getting up, perhaps you want to let them "earn" having the door cracked. This is up to you and each family's unique situation.

First, you need to judge whether or not the fear is legitimate. Your instinct may be swaying you in one direction or the other.

Lots of times legitimate fears elicit so much attention that they linger long after the actual fear is gone - replaced with a new bad sleep habit. For example, child is scared of monsters so mom stays with him to fall asleep. Months later he has just gotten used to mom staying with him and the original fear of monsters is probably long forgotten. This is the same thing that happens with made up fears in the first place.

Or sometimes parents even accidentally plant the idea of fear with the child. If your child suddenly wakes overnight for no reason, you may have said "what's wrong? are you scared of something? did you have a nightmare?". If that question is then followed with lots of snuggles, love, reassurance and attention, you may have just "planted" a fear by showing your child that saying these things elicits a favorable reaction from you.

If your child has a REAL fear, you should address it head on in the light of day, NOT at bedtime. Ask them what they're afraid of. Lay in their bed and look from their angle. Is there a weird shadow? Does the blinking light on the smoke detector bother them? Move things around if possible to change shadows or put tape over the blinking light. Try and get them to show you what they are afraid of and then work with them to fix it while reassuring them that there is nothing to afraid of. You can sue glow in the dark bracelets to add low light to dark corners, under bed or closets.

If they are scared of something in their imagination - like monsters, try using play to give them a different idea of monsters. Why do monsters have to be bad? Look for a book - like "Monsters Love Underpants" that makes monsters fun. Have your child draw a monster and then talk about how silly it looks. Give him a friendly name and tape it in his room. Use these types of playful tools to diffuse the fear and reassure your child of the truth that monsters are not real.

Remember, you need to reassure and help your child to understand they they are safe in their room. Your words AND your actions deliver this message. If your reaction is to stay in your child's room and never let them be alone, your child may think that it's actually NOT safe to be alone. So, you need to reassure with your words and your actions.

Address the fears head on and then move forward with the plan.

Lots of times kids prefer to be around others especially when they have not had a lot of practice being alone. Just the same as sleeping solo - when they've never done it before, it's going to feel different and maybe uncomfortable in the beginning.

But, being alone, just like sleeping alone are valuable life skills that we need to be encouraging with our children.

So, start with even a few minutes where they play outside of your line of sight. Using a timer is great. Maybe just 2 or 3 minutes and then shower them with praise. And then increase the time from there. Whenever your child is playing alone, praise them. This is called "catching them being good". If they don't like being alone in their room, use the timer and do this exercise in their room.

The more practice they have at it, the easier it will get. So start today!

This is very common! Having the lights on can make it tough for your child to fall asleep so I want you to keep it dark. If you see your child turning lights on or you think they will try it, prevent it from happening by removing the light bulbs or putting a childproof cover on the switch.

If you need light to read books during the routine, bring in a flashlight and make reading even more fun!

I don't want you to get in the back-and-forth of going in the room to turn the lights off because that can become a game very quickly.

Removing the bulbs or even unscrewing them and saying they burned out is a great solution. Remember, it's not forever. Once your child is sleeping well and not spending time exploring the room, the bulbs can go back in.

There are many clocks to choose from and as long as you can set the time that they change colors, that's the most important part. Here are some good options....

1. Hatch Baby runs about $60 and includes white noise + color change and it's nice bc you can control it from your phone. That can be nice if ....you really want your kid to wake up at 6:40 but they wake up at 6:20 and you see them start to get fussy, you may want to switch it really quick to turn it green a little early.... or once they're really good at using it, and it's the weekend and you want to change it to 7:15 instead of your weekday 6:30 wake up. Link to Hatch: https://amzn.to/3uGoGjI

2. Little Hippo Mella is about $50 and is similar to Hatch but you can't control it on your phone - you have to make changes on the physical clock. Downfall is some kids mess with the controls. This one also makes "faces" which is kind of nice bc it gives kids another visual besides just the color.
https://amzn.to/3myKZ8m

3. Ok to Wake $33. Similar to the Hippo but this has the controls hidden behind a panel - maybe harder for little hands to get to.
https://amzn.to/2PRat4R